WHO AM I? HOW AM I? WHAT AM I?

Do you remember Peter? He was your best school friend in school. You spent endless hours together. You could talk about anything and everything. He was your confidant, your 'brother.' There was nothing better than spending afternoons together, no matter what you were doing….it could be school work, or just hanging out. Peter's closeness meant so much."

"That's normal," you said to yourself. "That's the way it is between best friends. But now, I am feeling jealous. Peter has a girlfriend and he didn't ask me about it first! But why should I feel this way?"

"Perhaps," you continued with your train of thought, "it is because I am somehow different." Until now, you always believed you would be with a woman just like about everybody else you knew. But now you are not so sure anymore. Slowly you began to realize that your feelings for Peter went much deeper than just 'best friends.' You had fallen in love with Peter, and now you felt guilty. Did these feelings mean that you were gay?
"No!" you thought. "That cannot be the case. I am not a faggot. I don't want to put on girl's clothes and carry a purse. I am not effeminate. I am not like one of the sex-obsessed old men who cruise the toilets for young boys. NO, I am not gay!" But your heart was aching because Peter had chosen to spend time with a girl rather than with you.

The moment a person realizes that s/he may be different from the majority of society can be a difficult time. This often causes a crisis and the person can become insecure about many things, not the least of which is about who they are and what they want.

But there is one tenet to keep in mind: Be true to yourself. Do what you (and only you) want to do. Don't take advice that conflicts with what you truly believe. If you are gay, then that is up to you. Or, perhaps, you find attraction to both men and women. Then you may be bisexual. In either case, this is part of who you are. It may take a while to come to terms with your sexual identity, but when you do, you will have accomplished a great deal. This process is called coming out and, while it can be a troublesome process, it is the way to find out who you are. You might search for some time before you find exactly who you are and what you want. But that is okay. That's part of the growing up process. It is a necessary process. It is something you will survive.