
| Saturday,
August 10th It was the middle of the night when Sascha awoke. He was startled! Then he noticed his underwear was damp and sticky. "Another wet dream," he said to himself, as he stood up and slipped into the bath. As he washed himself, be tried to reconstruct what he had been dreaming. He could only remember fragments: He and Ralph were together, hiking in the mountains. Near an old cabin, the two of them paused to rest, lying down in the grass. They gazed deeply at each other and then Ralph begin to tease Sascha by putting his over Sascha's face. Sascha responded and their two faces came closer together until Ralph kissed Sascha tenderly on the lips. Shit! Sascha already had another erection. Back in his room, lying in bed, Sascha could not go back to sleep. He kept thinking about Ralph and soon he realized that he had fallen in love with that beautiful boy. Sascha also realized something else. It was clear. He is gay! But
now he wondered what he should do. What should come next?
He wanted to tell Ralph just how he felt. But he
couldn't. Ralph might react negatively. What if Ralph
told all of their classmates what Sascha was feeling.
Those chaps might make fun of Sascha and shun him.
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Tuesday, August
26th, 6 p.m. "Let's drink something," said Sascha's sister. The two had been shopping for clothes in their little town. Sascha always went shopping with his sister when he wanted to buy something because he could trust her taste. She was four years older than he was. They found a table in the middle of the garden at a peaceful coffee house. "Are you feeling all right?" his sister asked. "Yeah, sure .why?" His sister continued: "You know, Sascha, somehow you have changed recently. You are so quiet. You used to laugh more. Now you seem less excited about things and more withdrawn. Our Mother noticed it first and she brought it to my attention. Now I have watched you, too. She is right. Is there something that is wrong?" Sascha began to boil. "Of course there is something wrong! I am gay!" he thought. He wanted to tell his sister about it, but felt he couldn't. He had actually deliberated about telling her for some time now because he was sick of hiding the fact. He did not like pretending. In his family that was not something that was done. His family values included being honest and communicating directly with each other. But Sascha was concerned how his family would react to his being gay. Would his parents accept? What about his sister? Sascha has a huge lump in his throat. Again his sister pushed the issue. "Well is there something wrong?" Sascha stammered: "I .yes .I cannot tell you." "It can't be that bad," his sister continued. "So out with it!" Why did his sister have to go on like that? |