Friday, March, 13th
Sascha sat in his room at his desk and flipped trough his old journals. He had always kept the past term calendars because they functioned as a sort of diary for him. He leaned back in his chair and let his eyes wander through the window. The past year had flown by so quickly. No time before in his life had so much change occurred in such a short time. He remembered how wretched life had been for him just a year ago.

Even Sascha's mother began to accept the new situation. She slowly began to embrace the idea that Sascha would not give her grandchildren and that Sascha's friend would often appear for the evening meal. Sascha turned the pages of the journal. He stopped at one he remembered well. That was the day Christian came to Sascha's house for the first time and was introduced to his parents. Although the atmosphere was somewhat unsettled, after a while Sascha had the feeling that his mother had taken Christian to her heart, however secretly.

Thursday, May, 14th
Sascha felt cold and numb. He had just received a telephone call from Christian. Christian had been called to military reserve camp for the summer; two weeks ago, he had received the final summons. Sascha hoped Christian might file an appeal for release of these duties, but he had already done that, and the rejection of appeal notice arrived this very day. Christian had to report to camp. Shit.
Sascha didn't even want to think about seeing his friend and lover only on weekends. Christian was worried about other things: "What will happen when they find out I'm gay? They'll destroy me. . ." "Things are not that bad, Christian," said Sascha. "We're not living in the middle ages anymore." Sascha tried to believe his own words. Christian said, "I know this scene. It's just like two years ago when I came out to my parents." Sascha had just read this very thought in a coming-out brochure: gays must come out again and again and again--to parents, to school, to friends, to workmates, and so on and so on.