Saschas diary

Sunday, December, 14^th
Sascha felt ecstatic. Last night had been so wonderful that he still could hardly believe it. He had never before experienced such sensual moments. Christian's touch and caress almost made him explode. He had not used the condom. He had asked Christian about oral sex and AIDS, but Christian said that as long as you don't come in the other's mouth, a blowjob presents no danger.

Monday, December, 23^rd
It was late when Christian's car pulled up to Sascha's house. They had already said their good-byes at Christian's house; Christian was going to be visiting a friend in the mountains over Christmas. Sascha hugged his friend tightly. Funny, they had not even separated, and Sascha was even now longing for him. Young, new love is like that. Christian kissed Sascha on the forehead; then Sascha opened the car door and stood up. When Christian drove away, Sascha waved gently.

Wednesday, December, 25^th
Sascha still lay awake in bed. The Christmas celebration with his parents had been very tedious. Always the same routine--first a drink, then dinner, then singing, then opening the Christmas presents, then dessert and coffee, hours of family talk, and finally collapsing in bed. Sascha missed Christian very much. How he would love to be lying in his arms. But Christian was far away in the mountains with his friend. Who knows? Perhaps the friend was lying in Christian's arms. Though the thought was absurd, Sascha could not help feeling jealous. The thought that Christian was spending so much time with this other boy was driving Sascha crazy. Sascha knew that they had been friends for quite some time, but he also knew that Christian had assured him that the relationship was over long ago, and Christian would never cheat on him. Still...

Friday, January, 2^nd
At last, Sascha had Christian in his arms again. "I've missed you terribly, my sweet," whispered Christian in Sascha's ear. Sascha had met him at the train station, and they were presently dragging his luggage to the bus. Not long after, they were lying on the sofa at Christian's house, caressing each other. Sascha confessed to him that he had been outrageously jealous. Christian laughed. "What were you thinking? Yves and I are a closed account. We went to bed a couple times in the past, but we put that aside because our friendship was too important for sex." Sascha was relieved to learn that nothing happened between Christian and Yves on the trip, but still he was not completely comfortable. Christian had once said that both he and Sascha should be tested for AIDS, and once clear, they could practice unsafe sex. Still, Sascha remembered what one man once said to him, that fidelity could not protect you from AIDS. What did that mean?

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