These are questions Sascha asked himself. They may be the same questions you have asked yourself as well. You know that you are more interested in boys than girls. You want to tell your parents so that you can bring your friend home to meet them. But if you are a boy, that question comes up again. "What about your girlfriend. What's her name. How old is she? What color is her hair?" You always fend off the questions with the same answer. "I don't have a girlfriend right now. I am single." But keeping up the lie is taking its toll. You can't go on forever not telling your parents you are gay. But….when should you tell them? Which one should you tell first…or should you tell them both at the same time? One person said you should tell them during dinner. Another said it should be during a fight. Yet another said you should call them on the phone when you are away on holiday. What to do!?

How will your parents react?
That's a big concern. It could happen in several ways. They could accept the fact you are gay. They could need more time to accept it. Or they could not be able to cope with it at all. You need to be prepared for any consequence. But one thing to remember is that until now (until you tell them you are gay) they may have never known someone who was homosexual (or at least they might not know that they know someone). They may feel that it is their fault you are gay. They may question what they have done wrong in your upbringing. These are two common reactions (although it is widely accepted now that homosexuality is not something we learn from the way we are raised or from our environment. More and more scientific studies show there is solid reason to believe that if we are gay, we are born that way.) No one is at fault. No one did anything wrong.
Your parents may not understand for a couple of other reasons as well. They were raised in a different time when being gay was considered a sickness or immoral or something to be feared. Then, too, because they are parents, they worry about your future and are concerned that your being gay will cause problems for you later on in life.
Coming Out needs special understanding from YOUR side as well. You have likely taken some time in deciding to come out. You can't expect your parents to be supportive right away. They may need some time.
Sometimes, before parents come to accept their child's sexual orientation, they may take seemingly drastic measures. They might want to send you to a psychiatrist. This old school of thought believed that homosexuality was an affliction that could be healed. IF this happens to you, it is a good idea to look inward…depend on yourself… and look for a friend or peer whom you trust and in whom you can confide. In addition, there are youth groups, the members of which can be very supportive.

Whatever course you take, you might want to consider building some strong friendships with other gay friends before telling your parents. But no matter which route you choose, in the long run, once your parents know you are gay…and once they accept your sexual orientation….the bond between you and your parents will grow stronger and their love for you will only continue to grow.

And what about those friends?
Naturally you have the need to (and probably want to) be honest with your friends as well. The same rules and thoughts apply here as did with parents. Choose the right time to apprise your friends of your sexual orientation.

But be forewarned. Some "friends" will be taken aback. They will not necessarily accept what you are telling them. Hopefully, in time, they will come around and realize your being gay means nothing to the friendship. If they do not, however, then perhaps you should give some thought to the fact that perhaps they weren't really your friends in the first place.

A tip: Talk often to each other. That makes many things easier.