COMING OUT STORY My name is Eugene. I'm out of the closet. It feels great! I can be myself. I didn't have any friends until the 8th grade. My first best friend was kind of a big joker. He always made me laugh, and for a change, it felt good. I never knew anybody that made me feel so happy and alive. It got to the point that me and my friend would try to get together as often as we could. We went to the zoo one day. I haven't realized I liked him until that day. We went on a boat ride. Just me and him. While he looked at some girls along the river, I looked deep into his face. A warm feeling came over me. I knew what it was, but I wouldn't accept it. I was thinking "what am I thinking. He's my friend. I shouldn't have feelings like this for him." My feelings got stronger for him everyday. One day, he said he was my best friend. That ment more than life itself to me. Daniel, his name, and I went to a school party in 8th grade. He was talking to one of his friends and I accidently over heared it. He told his friend that he was his best friend. Tears came flowing out of my eyes. I left the school and cried the rest of the way home. Later in the year he started getting more and more friends. I was getting extremely mad. I thought I was his best friend. What happened to the days when it was only me and him? It wasn't fair. Near the end of 8th grade he noticed I was REALLY depressed. He asked me what was wrong. I told him that I was going through a hard time. I also told him that I thought we were best friends. He said all of his friends were best friends. That more than crushed me. I wanted to die.
After 8th grade ended I never talked to him anymore. My heart was shattered and it would never heal. I tried two times to kill myself, but I couldn't. It would break my parents hearts. When 9th grade started it was a new beginning. I decided to make some friends, and I did. It was great, but I knew I had a secret that was dying to come out. The rest of the 9th grade was pretty smooth. Then came 10th grade. The grade I'm in now. The bottle inside me that held my secret began to crack. I had to let people know. I want them to know the real me. One night, I spent the night at one of my friend's house. His name is Gaylon. Gaylon really doesn't like homosexuality. His family is VERY religous. I was talking about Ellen (TV show) to him. I said she was very cool. He said that she is very disgusting and a pervert because she is gay. I replied "so you think I'm disgusting and a pervert?" He said "what?" I knew he heared me loud and clear. I think he took it very well for being religous. I answeared all the questions that he wanted to know. I felt very comfortable. I like to hear my friend's opinions. To my surprise, we are still friends. I told the rest of my friends in that following week. It was GREAT!! My friends have given me the best support. I wish I could say that Daniel took it well. He is REALLY scared of me. Not only does he know I'm gay, but I wrote him a letter about the whole thing with me and my feelings toward him through the years. He really does HATE me. Its ok. If he doesn't like it, thats his problem. He's hurt me to many times I don't care what he thinks. My parents know. They are supportive too. No one at school has made fun of me. Half the school knows because someone heared me tell one of my friends. I want to say it will be that great for all of the teens that are still in the closet, but I can't. Sometimes it will be good and sometimes it will be bad. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask. Bye. |
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